Iconic Island Joints

Rancho de Apa is basically just as iconic on the island as lechon itself. The multi-generation lechon spot is possibly inarguably the best on the island. The spot is made of legends, such as the time Apa was brought to cook a lechon at Le Bernadain, or the time Anthony Bourdain claimed it was the best pork he’s ever had. Sometimes a spot doesn’t live up to the legend, but Apa definitely does. I tried everything on the menu, and I’m pretty sure everything from the rice and beans to the pasteles to the emenadas to the morcilla to of course - the lechon - we’re the best versions of each item that I’ve had on the whole island. Go with a big group and hang out eating and drinking for a whole afternoon. We got there at 11 and left at 4. Just make sure you’re sober enough to drive home :)

One of the best parts of a good joint is that you can go for multiple decades and nothing changes. Everything you go, you know exactly what you’re going to get, and you wouldn’t want it any other way. Aurorita is just that. It’s the favorite Mexican restaurant for many on the island and totally delivered with its giant margaritas, cheesy “chihuahuas”, and on point fajitas. Don’t forget the cinnamon and sugar tortilla chips for dessert that come with a side of caramel to dip them in. And if you’re lucky, you’ll go on a night with some live music as well!

A Puerto Rico joint list would be incomplete without La Cueva del Chicken Inn. The joint of all island joints, Chicken Inn started making pizza in the 1960’s and is apparently the first pizza restaurant on the island that had its own pizza oven. The architecture is truly cave like, the murals are beautiful, and the only music comes from an old juke box. The drinks are strong, the food hasn’t changed, and it’s everything you want an old school pizza joint to be. Pro tip: get the fries, they’re hand cut and the best I’ve had on the island.

If you’re optimizing for a fun and unique bar a bit off the beaten path, check out Euromotion. This auto shop (with a vintage Porsche collection) opened up an adjacent on-theme bar and restaurant for friends and family during Covid. There’s some great elevated bar food (like the great burger), but they also serve steaks that look great and they source from the same distributor as Hacidena. It’s full of regulars, it’s super fun, there’s usually live music, the drinks are good, and the staff is great. Plus you can see the cars they’re working on in the back. The most fun place that I’ve found in a while.

Via Appia’s holds a special place in my heart as one of the only restaurants to stay open and at full force during most of COVID when I first moved to the island. The cocktails are strong, the staff are awesome and have been there forever, and it’s a great place to have a drinking focused dinner that is fun but casual. The wait for walk ins is never too long, and we always order the same thing: Gorgonzola salad (important to get the dressing on the side, there’s just so much of it), a pizza with mushrooms and onions, and sometimes a chicken parm. The flan is also great. The regulars will tell you to get the sangria, but I don’t really drink sangria so I’ve never tried it. As I’m writing this I realize that next time I need to try the sangria…

La Penultima is an awesome cocktail bar indoors with a great backyard / picknick table situation outdoors. The food is definitely elevated beyond typical bar food and would stand up on its own if it were a casual restaurant in San Juan. The burger, lo mein, and chicken sandwich are all good and I think they have the best wings I’ve had in PR (I love wings). The carbonated Negroni is great, plus they import their own natural wines and have an awesome selection.

Bottles is one of the first restaurants I tried in Puerto Rico when I moved here in 2020. My husband and I sat down and attempted to order two appetizers and two entrees. The waiter politely but firmly told us it would be too much food and that we couldn’t order it all. That’s not the first time we’ve been told we’re ordering too much food, so we confidently pushed back and tried to convince him it would be ok. He insisted it wasn’t going to be ok and that we only order half and appetizer and one entree between the two of us. If you’re reading this and you’ve been to Bottles, you know that even this quarter order was clearly too much food… The portions are HUGE at Bottles. Like Cheesecake Factory huge. It’s a great place to go with big groups, not just because of the size of the portions but also because of the vast selection of wine lining the walls (with prices close to retail). My go to order there is a bunch of wine, a martini (they pour a good one), the veal chicharrones, the Iberico Ham and Cheese board, the king crab legs if they have them, the duck, and some steak. You can’t forge t the massive Baked Alaska for dessert.

Disclaimer: Joe has never been to Bottles but once he goes I am confident this will be added to The Joe List. Then again, we have yet to agree on a single restaurant besides Numero Uno. Only time will tell…